Friday, 8 February 2008

My dad's morning prayer

morning jog
When I visit my old dad, eighty-seven, a bit frail but mentally fit, he uses to tell me how he got up in the morning. How he is grateful to his creator who has given him another day. And then he always looks at me, knowing well that I do not believe in God, and he sometimes adds "you know?". These are the moments when I am happy to play the agnostic card, even agreeing to a sort of pantheism. Starting at the undeniable fact that there is a huge mass of universal energy, part of which has sort of crystallized to matter, according to Einstein, and why not call this universal energy God? His Christianity does not prevent him from such thoughts, interestingly. I only avoid talking about God as a personal, all-knowing and all-planning being in which he believes and I do definitely not, by nearly a hundred percent.

Today, on my morning jog, I thought about dad's morning prayers, and I said to myself that for the most time of my life I have missed such an opportunity to start my day. What can be a better start than feeling, hey, what a wonderful gift that I am getting with this new day?

Nothing prevents me, as an atheist, from having similar feelings. The difference is not that great. He talks to his personal God, and this talk is a one-way lane anyway because he gets no answer other than those feelings generated by his own brain. I meditate about the universal energy, about my being reborn from the half-brother of death, for another day of life which will end again by plunging down back into the unconscious state of sleep that will merge with death some day or some night.

Well, I tried it out this morning, and I felt great with it. I never would call this a prayer, not even a spiritual experience because I do not believe in a spiritual parallel world. I just felt the fact that I am here, jogging, watching the new dawn rise, an exceptional wonder, and my sense of gratitude does not need a God listening to me. The Universe is so immense. It does not even care whether I am grateful or not. No generosity can be greater.

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